ToMAYto Or ToMAHto?

Sin just keeps popping up. Not so much in action as simply in conversation. It gets mentioned at church and in religious writings, but you have to expect that. It pops up in other places too. Just for one example, take the day my supervisor said in a humorous context: “…is God-given managerial talent, and it’s a sin to waste it.” Because of the various contexts in which the concept appears, and the ways people express their ideas about what it actually refers to, we demonstrate much disagreement about sin. It’s the “toMAYato, tomMAHto” thing all over again. And when push comes to shove, I can’t do anything but add my own opinions to the confusion.

Besides being a word that functions as noun and verb…what the heck is sin, anyway? Or…what is it not?

My first answer is this – I don’t think sin is just breaking rules. The people who “can’t drink” or “can’t dance” ” or “can’t play cards” because that would be a sin are barking up the wrong tree. Those kinds of rules attempt to address genuine issues, but wind up simply with someone controlling someone else.

I don’t believe it is a sin to make an honest mistake. No one can know all the consequences of their choices. You do the best you can with the information and wisdom you have, and sometimes you are wrong even though your intention was to do the right thing. No wrong was intended. And our motivations matter.

Nor do I think life is all about salvation that basically gets you out of “paying the price” for your sins. Among my objections to that: 1) It teaches us to be afraid of God and 2) It teaches us to despise ourselves. (Without wanting to open another can of worms, I have the feeling that those teachings are more about our fear of death than about the way we live our lives.)

I think life is about relationships. With God who is the Source of our lives. With ourselves. With our families, friends, employees, employers, fellow workers, neighbors, friends, enemies. With the natural world. With our houses, cars, trucks, boats, computers, books, pianos, guitars, lawnmowers. With the place or places where we worship. With our volunteering, use of our free time, our commitments, our recreation. With our sexuality, our bodies. We have relationships with all these things.

Furthermore, I think Jesus was talking about relationships. Relationships with God, with wealth, with those in need, with family and friends. Seek ye first…Do unto others…Give unto Caesar…The Sabbath is for man, not man for the Sabbath…Forgive seventy times seven…Turn the other cheek…

Does that mean I do not think sin exists? Or that it is not an important issue? Not at all. If life is about relationships, it would be sinful to do things that harm or hinder strong and positive relationships. Especially when the choices we make are deliberate and conscious, when we choose actions that we know will be harmful, destructive to others and even ourselves…and we choose them anyway.

People who are contemplatives or mystics realize that we actually are all connected. God is in each of us, and that makes all of us part of that vast Being that we call God. The belief that we are separate, rather than connected, is probably the root of most of our sins. It is our condition, not evil in itself, just how things are. But if we could grasp the truth that we are connected, it would help us correct our issues. No, it isn’t just “New Age claptrap”. Mystics from all traditions tell us the same things. Including those from the Christian tradition. That makes me want to take this concept seriously.

So let me name a few things that when we do them – or don’t do them – I think we are sinning. Missing the mark. Screwing up. It isn’t a comprehensive list, just enough to give the flavor of what I’m talking about.

Anything that promotes the illusion of separation from God or others would be sinful, for that strikes at the very basis of our relationships.

Anything that can divide us, such as discrimination or bigotry (especially in the name of the God of love) is sinful.

Failure or downright refusal to open oneself to spiritual growth is sinful, for we must grow, life is about growth, and this growth nourishes and enhances our relationships. (Is life about growth? Well, how many dead things do you know that are growing?)

Failure or downright refusal to trust our Creator is sinful. How can you have a relationship with someone you don’t trust? Take fear, for instance. Fear is a natural instinct, and it warns us of dangers, but neurotic and unfounded fears are different from the natural instinct. What does fear destroy? Physical and emotional health, our relationship with our Source, and many things that we want to do but are afraid to try.

Anything that can cause harm to another is a sin. This includes all use of sex as a weapon against other people. It includes pornography, which is deeply degrading. It includes child abuse. It includes use of “power over” someone else in an abusive and destructive way. Murder, greed, theft, adultery are all things that can cause harm to others and/or relationships. Addiction to anything, substance (cocaine) or activity (gambling) interferes with both human and spiritual relationships. The things themselves may be safe in moderate amounts; it is the addiction that hurts us.

Failure or refusal to help someone in need is a sin. If God is in each of us, then when we help another person we serve God. And, if you want to link these things with self-interest, helping another also helps you or me.

(I have not included our failure to take care of our soil, air, water, etc. Some think that is a sin; others think it is our right. For my purposes here, the entire issue deserves its own post.)

So there is my take on sin. Not the following of rules, but the harming of relationships. It’s at least as long as a list of rules, isn’t it? And just as challenging. But, I trust, more conducive to growth.